I Don't Want 2020 To Be Over

Hello.

I've been debating this post for months. This year has been, without question the hardest thing I've gone through, and most of that has happened off-line. For those who know me, you've seen that I moved to London and that's about all I've publicly shared. 

What I haven't talked about is the enormous and unexpected loss that my family endured this year. In July my great-grandmother (my Oma) died, followed by my great-grandfather (my Opa's) death in August, and in November my great-grandmother (Gaga) also died. I don't want this year to be over because I don't want to move past this year that had my grandparents in it. 

I know there are countless other families that are experiencing similar feelings of grief and loss and it is my hope that this post doesn't add to that. I find writing to be therapeutic, and I think I'm at the point in my journey of grief that I can talk about my grandparents with love and not the overwhelming sadness I've been feeling. At the same time, I'm not ready to share their photos, so instead I'm including two poems that have helped me the most in expressing my grief. 

Since 2015 I have spoken to my Oma every Sunday. No matter what either of us were doing we spoke once a week. I heard the same stories countless times over the years, but I also learned so much about how she showed her love for others. Oma always checked the weather where her family lived and no matter what we were talking about I was sure to be asked about the forecast. It seems so small, but looking back on that simple action makes me feel so cared for. I don't remember the exact words we spoke to each other in our last conversation, but I remember her being so excited that I was coming to school. She was full of questions about what it would be like to be in London, I didn't have the answers then and I would give anything to be able to answer those questions now and hear her stories of her trips to London. 

My Opa didn't talk much on the phone, but he was always always present with you in conversation. He told the best stories and asked the best questions. When he found out that I wanted to study International Relations, every visit ended with the gift of The Economist and a discussion of GDP. He loved to tell me what language I should learn next and was always clipping stories out of the newspaper. I'd like to think that's why I read the news every morning-that I'm mimicking a habit that I learned long ago. Opa was also notorious for sneaking us the best snacks: when I was little he had oreos hidden in the cabinet that we got to eat when no one else was looking.

Gaga was a person that seemed almost mythical. She was 101 and for as long as I remember had simply been there. She introduced me to musicals, showing me The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins when I was five. My aunt told me recently that she carried a letter I wrote her from summer camp in her purse for years. She loved angel pins and wore one with every outfit, on all my travels I made sure to bring one back to her. She was sharp and funny and loved music, and in many ways encouraged me to try and be a better person. 

I have been extraordinarily lucky to have such hugely influential, loving people in my life for so long. I know that. I also know that I would give so much to have another conversation with them, to share a hug, to ask a question, to tell them I love them, or even to be asked about the weather. And for that reason I don't want 2020 to be over. I haven't experienced a year without these family members and while it was inevitable it would happen, this cascade of grief has been overwhelming. 

Maybe I'll post about London soon, but for now I'm wishing you a safe new year.

Madeline

Olympia Adventures

Hello!

You thought I forgot about this blog, but I didn't. I just haven't done anything very noteworthy over the past month. Instead of traveling, I have been at PLU doing school (I know, who could have predicted that?). We do a month long class called J-Term at PLU and just finished last week. I took Humanitarianism and it was one of my favorite classes that I have taken at PLU. It allowed me to put a lot of concepts from other classes into practice with one another, and maybe gave me capstone ideas. Because of the break-neck style of J-Term I haven't gone anywhere besides the grocery store in weeks. To remedy this, Emma and I went on an adventure on Saturday. 

We decided to drive south to Olympia, because Emma loves it and I had never been there. Olympia actually reminded me of Alaska in a way I cannot quite place. Our first stop of the visit was the Farmer's Market, it's open every Saturday year round. How cool is that? Because it is February there wasn't a ton happening but we had a really lovely lunch of Indian food. 

The Farmer's Market.

After lunch we found a booth where someone was selling poems. The premise of the operation was: you give them an idea and then they write the poem. Emma and I obviously couldn't pass this up, so we gave her the topic 'friendship' and are now the proud co-owners of a poem. 

Our new poem.

Our second stop was the waterfront, something of a tradition when Emma and I adventure. It was a little chilly so we didn't walk around a huge amount, but we found a tower that offered a really cool view of the capitol. If you have been following the blog for awhile you'll remember that climbing unnecessary numbers of stairs is an essential part of any good trip. 

The capitol building behind the waterfront. 

The last stop on our Olympia adventure was Downtown. We wandered around a few shops before Emma brought me to the best store I've ever been. There is a loose leaf tea store in Olympia with a wall of teas that you can smell before buying (we were there for awhile). We each bought four kinds of tea because we have limited self-control. After tea we took a brief break to get coffee, because there is no such thing as too much caffeine. 

Do you see all the variations of early grey? That's my favorite!

In all we spent an afternoon in Olympia. While that doesn't seem like a lot of time it was a really great reminder of the fact that you can adventure close to home, you never know what you will find in your backyard. 

Madeline

I Promise I Didn't Forget This Existed

Hello!

I promise I didn't forget that I have this blog! It's senior year and that takes up way more time than anticipated. Although I probably should have seen that coming given how busy I've been every other year at PLU. 

Despite the fact that I haven't been blogging, I have still been doing stuff. While most of it focused on school, I also travelled a bit. But before I get to that, let's do a semester review. As of last week I am officially done with my first semester of senior year (yikes!). This means that in a little less that six months I will have graduated, something I try not to think about very much. I am officially taking a gap year next year, and I have no concrete plans for post-graduation yet but I'm sure I'll get there. So if you have any suggestions, please let me know! As for the semester, it was a doozy. The workload was intense and I don't think Microsoft word was closed on my computer for an entire semester. Besides all the schoolwork, the big change is that I am living off campus this year. I happen to be living with four of my favorite people in the world and it has been a wonderful experience! It makes a huge difference coming home to a house as opposed to a dorm room. 

We had to have family Christmas photos for the house (please admire our fan tree).

Now for the travel! I went on two trips this semester that are worth reporting on. The first was a weekend spent on Orcas Island and the second a weekend spent in Couer d'Alene, Idaho. While one was for pleasure and the other for school they were both lovely experiences. 

In October I spent a weekend on Orcas Island visiting friends that I work with in the summer. It was both incredibly different and strikingly the same being on island, and at Four Winds, during the off-season. I had a truly wonderful time and am so grateful for the time spent with friends in one of my favorite places on the planet. It was exactly the kind of mid-semester break that I needed to push through to Thanksgiving.

My last view of Orcas for the year.

I love the woods on Orcas Island.

My other big travel was going to Coeur d'Alene for a humanities conference. Three students from PLU got accepted into the Northwest Undergraduate Conference in the Humanities at North Idaho College and we drove over one weekend to present our papers. I presented on Jane Austen's Insular Radicalism (if anyone is interested I would love to talk about this subject more). I happened to be on the same panel as my friend Emma which helped me feel comfortable and confident in my presentation. It was the first conference I had ever participated in, and it was a rewarding learning experience. 

North Idaho College (these are the leaves in November which I cannot understand).

The PLU contingent, we didn't plan to match but we did anyway.

Post these trips, the only other place I've been was Alaska for Thanksgiving, which was a short break in a hectic semester. After three weeks of break-neck work at school I am back in Alaska for winter break. It's snowy, cold, and dark but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Almost all the cousins at Thanksgiving.

And who knows, maybe I'll get better at blogging soon. I won't promise anything quite yet though!

Madeline

Kava-NOPE!: It's Time to Make a Change

Disclaimer: this is political. Do with that what you will.

Hello!

Like many people I am horrified by the knowledge that Brett Kavanaugh was just confirmed to the supreme court. I cannot describe the gut-wrenching feeling that washed over me as I read the article announcing the results of the vote. 


I don't know what to do with this information, I am angry, sad, and disappointed in the system and processes our country is built on. But, this is not a time that allows for us to sit back and despair. Instead, we must take our outrage to the polls. Midterm elections are quickly approaching, and they are our best way to tell our representatives our thoughts on the current system. So, if you haven't, please register to vote! I cannot stress the importance of voting and exercising our civil rights. 

As many of you know I go to a fairly liberal university in the very liberal Pacific Northwest. The Kavanaugh hearings have not gone over well here, and the mood on campus is something I last felt immediately post-election in 2016. Sure, many people could say that this response is a reflection of the area I am in, and I don't disagree. But, the accusations against Kavanaugh and the treatment of Dr. Ford and other accusers impacts individuals regardless of political affiliation. 

Women everywhere have felt that their voices have been erased for decades, and this hearing has shown what our current government feels about this issue. Fear keeps so many individuals from speaking. It is time we found a way to ensure safety for those who speak out.

Please, be kind to those around you and believe survivors. And if you need anything else to show you the unacceptable position women are put in please read this Washington Post article. 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/dear-dads-your-daughters-told-me-about-their-assaults-this-is-why-they-never-told-you/2018/10/01/0f69be46-c587-11e8-b2b5-79270f9cce17_story.html?utm_term=.772a7a9ce529

Madeline

10 Days at Home Were Nice but Now It's Time for School

Hello!

I'm writing from Tacoma where I am about to start my final year of undergrad. It's wild to think that three years ago I was starting my time at PLU and now it's starting to wind down. 

As always I'm credit maxing, so I will be taking five classes this fall. Although sure to be a lot of work, I am incredibly excited about my academics this year. I think it will be a challenging and rewarding time. I say this having not done any of the homework that was assigned for this week. I promise I'll get to it soon.

To top off the new academics, I also have new housing. I'm living off campus this year in a house with four of my friends. I hadn't seen the house until yesterday and I have to say, it's nice. Most of my stuff is still in storage, and I don't have a mattress yet, but I am loving the feeling of not being in a dorm. 

It's been about eight months since I've been at PLU and the time I spent away was incredibly rewarding. I was challenged in a lot of ways and I also learned quite a bit about myself. I'm excited to bring those lessons to school, I think I'll be pleasantly surprised by the transition back. 

Not to overlook the excitement of my Senior year (!!!!!) I have some friends from camp visiting soon. I know it has only been a few weeks since we parted, and I am thrilled to be able to show these friends my school. (You may remember a blogpost about Durham-the friends I visited are the ones visiting me). 

I'll try and keep this blog updated over the next semester, but I don't have any big travel planned so the updates might look a little different than normal. 

Madeline

Good Times Go So Swiftly Now

Hello!

It has been so long since my last post, and there is what I think is good reason for that. I have spent the last two and a half months pouring my heart and soul into my job. As is customary for me, I returned to Orcas Island to work at Four Winds. 

I know what some of you might be thinking, "Madeline why are you still working at summer camp after your Junior year of college?" The answer is simple: the community. I have never met another group of people who so genuinely cares about each other. 

The tent mates that quickly formed a family

At this job you can pour your heart and soul into your work with no judgement, in fact with complete support. I worked a nontraditional job this year-I was the Special Projects Assistant to the Special Projects Manager (a mouthful). In this job I ran the camp store, drove laundry, and filled in wherever I was asked. This job was challenging for me, and I really struggled to find my place at times. However, there is no way I would change my summer.

Over the course of the past few months I have learned so much about myself and have learned the value of challenging myself whenever possible. Part of working at summer camp means giving yourself up for others, we are encouraged to be selfless to an extent that those who aren't there don't understand. 

Sure, the choice to work at Four Winds (or really any other summer camp) does not make sense with my life plan. And, I feel drawn to work there. I feel that I have something to give to the community, just as the community has something to give to me. 

It is the people I work with that make this place somewhere I want to return to. As we say at camp, "the magic is not in the dirt, it's in the people."

Specialist team

Madeline

The City of Dreaming Spires

Hello!

I am currently two days post departure from Oxford and am extremely jet lagged. I wanted to write this post from the UK, but the time got away from me and so here we are. 

Full group photo outside the Radcliffe Camera.

I am already at my summer job in Washington. I am once again working at Four Winds Westward Ho for the summer. I am extremely excited for this job, but the jet lag is kind of kicking my butt. I arrived at camp less than 24 hours after I got back to the states, I don't think I've stopped moving since then. But, luckily my second day at work was a day off so I was able to relax. 

Anyways, back to Oxford. I cannot put into words how grateful I am to have had the opportunity to live and study in Oxford. It was challenging, thrilling, and exciting. I wrote more than I ever have in my life and saw so many things and places I have dreamed of. I learned more than I thought was possible (about both myself and my studies).

Queen's Lane-my favorite place in Oxford.

I cannot distill my experience into a single blog post, but know that it was amazing. I am so grateful to have been surrounded by 11 other amazing students and two wonderful professors. These people helped make my experience into what it was and I couldn't have asked for anything better. 

17 Boulter Street post final breakfast.

17 Boulter Street celebrating the program with a final family ice cream night.

I'll be fairly out of touch for the rest of the summer, but keep an eye out for the occasional post. 

Madeline